Mea culpa, mea culpa...here I announce with abandon that I'll be posting every day for a month, and promptly don't. I can only plead the most bizarre illness I have ever had, and one that I hope you never get, because it's just STRANGE. Viz: on Monday I got a rough, red, bumpy rash all over my torso and back and butt and upper legs and forearms. Kind of itchy but not bad, no other symptoms. Hmmm, thought I. I'd had something similar when I was pregnant (which no, I am not now) and figured it must just be a recurrance due to fluctuating hormone levels, some unknown combination of environmental triggers, you name it, who cares, it wasn't bothering me. I did what every good nurse does when she gets sick: I ignored it and figured it would go away.
Which it refuses to do. Instead, it has stuck around, and has TURNED MY BUTT RED. Yes! This rash has decided to become confluent (i.e. the red dots have merged) all over my butt and upper thighs, and has further insulted me by providing me with swollen, sore bilateral inguinal nodes. And no, it's not some strange, or even not so strange, STD: I'm not going into details on how I know it isn't, but it isn't. I mean, we're old, and monogamous, and long married, and that's just not an issue, and as I said, I'm not going into any more details. I feel OK, though achey and tired and a little like I have a cold, and I'm fever-free, but my whole lower body is annoyingly edematous (as in, my butt doesn't want to fit in my pants, and I know I haven't suddenly gained fifteen pounds or changed my entire shape) and I mean, what the hell?
TTD and I have batted differential diagnoses around, without coming to the ah-ha conclusions we would have reached were we on a network medical show, and nobody else in the family has caught it and I am, if not improving dramatically, certainly not getting worse, so we're inclined to continue in our practice of ignoring it and seeing if it goes away, but I have to say, HUMPH. A bug that makes your butt big? That's insult to injury.
Oh, and in other breaking news, I padded downstairs at three a.m. the other night to make the wakeful Urp a waffle (growth spurt, yada yada) and guess who was back, lounging on the kitchen rug right beside Yellow Boy the cat? Yes indeedy: your friend and mine, the skunk. I beat a hasty retreat upstairs and eventually awoke TTD, who went down and followed the skunk at a respectful distance until he (the skunk, not TTD) had meandered through the dining room and the living room and back out the shed door. Followed by Yellow Boy, who is clearly either friends or smitten with the skunk.
What a ridiculous week.