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Beth

Just my opinion:

I haven't been married before (never married, technically), so I haven't had to deal with how to tell my son that sort of thing. However, regarding other family matters of a *potentially* (though not necessarily) delicate nature, I tend to share information on a need-to-know basis.

If I were in your shoes, I'd probably wait until the kids were a whole lot older and mature enough to understand the information. I'm guessing they don't need to know about it right now, and it might only confuse them, even if they didn't show it. I'm sometimes amazed at the misconceptions my son has, esp. when I've thought he understood something, and sometimes I've felt sad at the thought that he'd gone as long as he had with the burden of that misconception.

If you're planning to introduce your ex to your kids at some point, you might want to introduce him only as a family friend, and save the details for some much later date. Obviously this is just my two cents, YMMV. :-)

liz

My best friend's husband was married before and they agonized over what and when to tell the kids. They sat them down when they were maybe 3 and 6 and told them and never mentioned it again as it's a subject that just doesn't come up very often and they never see the ex-wife. They mentioned something about it five or six years later and the kids were absolutely shocked to hear that their dad had been married before. It was so funny because it had been such an issue to tell them the first time and they didn't even remember. The parents assumed they had done their duty and told them.

Moira

My dad was previously married.
It has never ever been a secret to me...I have a half brother and he lives with us these days and has for years now.
It's always just been part of my reality, I don't think there was ever a talk. My dad sometimes says things about his ex-wife if it comes up in conversation. It's just been part of my life I guess.

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Dell Ledermann

Oh, you probably turned up the AC unit inside your car then. Some people prefer to drive at night to avoid the heat of the sun, and others (prolly like you) enjoy the sunlight while on the road. You must've been very glad to celebrate summer. How's your last summer, though?

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